Spectre of martyrdom looms over Anglican General Synod 2010

[Church House: Toronto]

[Feast Day of Justin Martyr]

The grim possibility of martyrdom may cast a shadow over the Anglican Church of Canada's upcoming General Synod 2010, says church communications director the Venerable Eustace Smithely-Jones.  "The General Synod will be held in Halifax this year", says Smithely-Jones, "where I hear there are some absolutely fabulous seafood restaurants. While that aspect of the Synod will be easy to digest, I am afraid that there may be some malcontents who will ask us to swallow some other, and rather unpalatable to Anglicans, fare."

Smithely-Jones made reference to a possible motion, put forward a member of the House of Laity, which would make it mandatory for members of the Anglican Church of Canada to say at least once in their lifetime that they 'love Jesus'.  "It is only fitting', said Smithely-Jones, "that such a thing would come to our attention on the anniversary of the martyrdom of Justin.  In very real terms, I am afraid that if such a motion were to pass, the vast majority of our paying members would end up, quite literally, dying of embarrassment.  It is a real possibility.  Imagine the pain of turning a conversation away from the proper white wine to accompany Atlantic salmon, toward some sort of religious declaration about this Jesus person.  Then the indignity of doing such a thing in some public setting, such as the Royal Nova Scotia Yacht Squadron.  I'm afraid for our people, terribly afraid."

Comments

[Tim Chesterton]

You, sir, are wicked!

[Gene]

Sitting at the airport in Ottawa on my way to the aforesaid salmon and white wine and am only too happy to say, "I love Jesus." I do.

[Peter]

Heh :-)

[Kate Sanderson]

You were in Ottawa and didn't look me up? :-(

[M.B. Oliver]

Farmed or wild salmon?