It seems that every year I have been on this campus, there has been at least one person who succumbed to suicide. I am certain that others attempt, and some contemplate it. The Student Distress Center has some information, and some very helpful people if you or someone you know, might be showing signs that things are not well. You should have a look.
Various things can trigger those suicidal thoughts and actions. Sometimes there is just a sense of pressure or depression, or maybe a traumatic event. Sometimes there are physiological factors that can be addressed. There are any number of things in your life which might lead you to thinking about suicide. People are different, stories are different; this is only one story - (nothing more, nothing less).
Sometimes the factors are spiritual.
He was in most ways a typical student: enjoying life in the residence, new found freedom, and having the luxury of a good set of sholarships. He was also a Christian - baptized, confirmed, and yes, he had a real faith and real relationship with Jesus. But somewhere along the line he decided to leave his Father's house. Was it intentional? Maybe not overtly at the beginning, but certainly as things progressed, and he distanced himself from God, he knew what was happening.
There is such a thing as evil, and it has a personality. The old catechisms tell us that "Satan" desires to "corrupt and destroy the creatures of God." The battle for hope in a person's life is essentially a spiritual thing. Despair, compounded by guilt, and hemmed in by choices that cannot be undone, is a spiritual thing. At its heart is a turning away - from God, from life, from hope. Sometimes there is a "challenge" to God - a putting him to the test. How long is his reach? How great is his mercy? Will he rescue even here?
What does Jesus want to do with the one who turns away from life? The one who has lost hope in the future? The one who thinks that God's arm is too short to save? The one who, by his own hand, tries to cast the gift of life back to its giver? Jesus wants to show mercy.
Who can tell why it appears to us as if mercy is shown to one person and not to another? I do not have an answer. We've held memorial services for young people on campus who took their own lives. And we've seen people come through a difficult time in their lives into a hope-filled future. Again, I do not have an answer.
I do know that Jesus is stronger than despair. That His power to save is greater. That he suffered, and was buried, and rose again. That he is able to transform any life and any set of circumstances - even those on the edge of suicide and despair. I know because I have seen it. He can and does tranform - beyond what we can ask or imagine.
Jesus can even take the despairing and wandering soul of a student who attempted suicide and send him back to the campus, give him an office and maybe even a title (like "Anglican Chaplain"), and a heart to seek out the bruised and the broken.
Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Amen.
Posted by: Winston | November 03, 2006 at 12:11 AM
A story close to home, hmm? Amen too.
Posted by: Peter | November 03, 2006 at 10:43 AM
It's one of those "taboo" topics which is all too real, all too common, and often all too hidden. I think that we need more awareness in this area and also try to help remove the fear (?-shame) of seeking help if we find ourselves in that situation, or showing others how to find help if we see a friend or family member in that situation.
Posted by: joseph | November 03, 2006 at 12:17 PM
Another Amen, lot's of thoughts and emotions, very little to write.
Posted by: steve the z | November 03, 2006 at 03:39 PM
Amen! and Thanks be to God!
Posted by: Lisa Barrowclough | November 04, 2006 at 11:43 AM